i’m here for you [a poem]

“i’m here for YOU” you say
in front of the crowd
of teachers who can’t see
that their future will be full
of frustration
of blame
of pointed fingers
of shame 

“i’m here for YOU” you say,
but not when students skip,
not when students fight,
not when students cuss you out because
“they cuss me out all the time”

“i’m here for YOU” you say,
but not when I wanted to die…
did you care when I thought about suicide?
or were you just checking the boxes
to say you tried

                            …in case I tried?

“i’m here for YOU” you say,
but those students who destroyed me,
i’m teaching them again?

“i’m here for YOU” you say,
but can’t have a conversation
before that decision
because “budget cuts” and “certifications”
as you remind me I can look elsewhere
like that’s what you wanted all along

“i’m here for YOU” you say,
…but not for YOU, Danielle. 

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