Tag Archives: mental health

Change

Posted on by

1

Just over a year ago, I wrote and posted a poem that greatly affected my career and relationship with my boss. At least 8 people I thought were my friends sent it to her the following morning.

Did I think that so many people would see it and send it to her? No. Did I enjoy the immediate backlash from posting it? Obviously not. I hate conflict, and boy did it create conflict. Ultimately though, do I regret posting it? Absolutely not. I find that writing is how I can be most vulnerable and how I can share my truest feeling about subjects that are affecting me.

Continue reading →

Poetry Month Day 4 [embers]

Posted on by

1

all i wanted was to show you love,
that family isn’t all about blood,
but i was just a roof over your head,
snacks, phone, Gatorade, and a huge comfy bed.

all i wanted was to keep you safe,
to fight your battles while you changed,
but with fists you fought over words that didn’t matter,
and with your own words, sliced through me like a dagger.

i gave you a chance after you told me to die
but if i’m honest, my love said goodbye,
for then began the wait for the day you’d leave.
i was naive to believe it’d be easy to grieve.

my love for you, still embers of a once-burning flame,
i think of you often and hope you’re okay,
and that you’re learning what really matters in life,
at least enough that you can finally thrive.

*Two years ago I fostered one of my students, a teen. It was one of the darkest times of my life because I would’ve moved mountains to see her thrive, but she needed more than we could give. I started this poem right after she left, and found it in a journal last week, so I decided to finish it.

Sometimes I still wonder if we even helped, or just added to the trauma she endured.

Found Words II

Posted on by

0

Tired
Be the best everyday –
mold minds and inspire,
try to light a fire
in the minds of students
lacking the desire to learn
or try.

Why?

I’ve tried it all –
it’s like trying to captain a ship
but all the crewmates panic
because there’s no cellphone service
on the ocean. I can’t do it all.
I’m tired. Slowly, we sink together.

TRIED = TIRED

March 2023,

an anagram poem inspired by anagram poetry in Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds

Sharing poems I find in old journals or my Google drive

carousel [a poem]

Posted on by

2

safe.
the one ride i know i’ll survive –
no bumps, turns, flips, drops,
no sudden stops.
one speed,
round and round
again and again
and then, the end.
get off or stay on, 
ride one more time because it’s

safe.
why take a risk,
a chance you might break
down and lose it all?
fall and fall
until there’s nowhere to go
all because you left your comfort zone.
all alone
future unknown.
you wanted an escape,
left behind what was

safe.
round and round,
again and again –
all fine until that moment when
the monotony of it all sets in.
you’ve lost your happiness from within.

Found Words I

Posted on by

0

I knew enough about hangovers to stop me from opening the second bottle. See, the days were already rough, the heat like roasting in an oven. To add one more problem would be like cutting the grass when it’s already dead. But what else would take away the pain of what I’d lost that day? My dog of six years, the ultimate snuggler, my blanket on the coldest nights, now across the rainbow bridge. What else could help me ignore the empty spot on my bed? In my heart?

8/8/2023

sharing the found words in my various journals over the years

on our side [but are you really] (a poem)

Posted on by

0

It’s a teacher problem
It’s an adult problem
It’s a student problem

Last I checked, a problem is a problem
and problems need solutions.
Not blame,
not shame,
not to pass the buck to someone else
or pass on it in a few days anyways

because a problem without an answer
stays a problem
until you’re willing to listen,
create a vision,
make an actual decision.

but let’s be honest –
even if we told you,
the vicious circle will continue
because here we are now
being yelled at for our thoughts
but – oops, I forgot
you’re on our side, right?

Vulnerable: Perception #1 (A Poem)

Posted on by

0

Teacher, wife, foster mom,
maker of decisions –
I feel like a baseball player
playing all the positions.

These conditions allow others 
to see my spectrum of emotions:
the joy, the tears,
the massive implosions
where I lose my cool;
they think less of me
because they see the cracks
exposed, set free.

I’m a firecracker most days
waiting to explode,
like a cup full of water
but too full – overflowed.

There’s so many days, 
students, family, it’s too much.
They see me be vulnerable
and then forever perceive me as such.

Here’s What I Would “Appreciate” -a poem-

Posted on by

0

We all want more money,
but that’s not the point,
it’s the way we always feel
like we’re being exploited.

See, you want to “appreciate”
the teachers who stay –
too bad the way you do it
is making more of us run away.

A week to celebrate
those who educate our future,
a number of which people
dwindle fewer and fewer.

Five days of cute themes
and the snacks that they feature
planned by, you guessed it,
a committee of teachers.

Yes, we appreciate ourselves
because who else will?
I guess they probably think
our wishes, they can’t fulfill.

Like smaller class sizes,
less skipping in the halls,
or for someone to show up
when it’s so bad we call.

Support when a student
tells me, “Shut the fuck up!”
Any kind of response
before a fight starts to erupt.

Stop shilling new products
that suck and don’t last;
we don’t want a script to teach,
this is literally our craft.

No more duty: morning,
after school, or lunch,
on top of the meetings,
it’s all way too much!

Just listen to us,
we have good suggestions!
We’re in the trenches everyday,
giving us the best perceptions.

What I would appreciate
is a modicum of support,
and to feel that EVERYDAY
it’s being reinforced.