While brainstorming a basic plot line of my current WIP “I’m Not OK,” I was faced with an interesting decision at the end. It’s not a decision I’ve never had to make before, but it felt more difficult to make this time for some reason.

See, I’m Not OK is very emotionally dense (as I outlined in this previous post). The main character Mariah is facing such huge mental health issues. The novel kind of follows her descent mentally, with the true breaking point coming at the end. I pondered for a long time if the story would be best with a happy ending, or if I could pull off a more sad ending. With a title like “I’m Not OK,” would a sad ending be that surprising?

I’ve faced this dilemma before. I’m no stranger to killing off my characters. I grew up writing House M.D. fan fiction through middle and high school. I enjoyed making characters suffer. I was well known on fanfiction.net as a suspenseful writer. I would frequently kill off characters – with good reason, of course.

In high school, I wrote (and finished!) a novel during NaNoWriMo titled “The Bucket List.” From my NaNo profile: “A 27-year-old woman named Rebecca is living a life of lameness. One day, after receiving a sign, all fifteen items on her bucket list are coming true and really happening.”

(I am cringing at the synopsis but I was in high school ok.)

As I came upon the ending of the novel, I started to realize that the best ending would be one in which Rebecca died. It only made sense, her entire bucket list was fulfilled (spoiler alert lol). I struggled with the idea so much though. A sad ending wouldn’t feel complete, would it? Would a reader feel content with her dying?

I ended up writing it both ways, and in all honesty, the ending that she died in felt way stronger than the other. Just because the story didn’t have a happy ending didn’t make it feel unfinished or unsatisfactory. Rather, it forced a reader to have a different type of closure.

There are so many well known books where the characters don’t get a happy ending. How many novels have you read where the dog DOESN’T die at some point in time? Why do happy endings feel “mandatory” to me when I’ve seen it done successfully so many times by other authors? Heck, by myself!

Maybe there’s a difference in a sad ending when things felt fulfilled: her bucket list was achieved; the dog saved the day; she found true love, etc. While I can’t speak 100% for I’m Not OK since I haven’t even finished writing the first draft of it, it just feels like an unhappy ending won’t work because she won’t have solved all the problems. There would be no closure.

Maybe in essence, the happy ending doesn’t carry that much closure either in this novel, because the issues Mariah is facing are lifelong battles within her own mind. They don’t just go away.

For the longest time, I disagreed with everyone on whether it should be a happy or sad ending. I did a poll on Facebook and overwhelmingly people thought that the novel should have a happy ending.

As I’ve started to read through what’s been written so far, I’ve slowly come to terms that maybe those people were correct. Whether the ending is happy or not, it NEEDS closure. Can I attain that with the “sad” ending? I don’t know.

Do all stories need a happy ending? I don’t think so. But does a reader need closure in some way? Absolutely. You can kill all the characters in your book at the end, but if you’re doing it for the shock and awe, it might backfire.

The reader can be upset as much as they want, but ultimately, it’s your characters and your story to tell. Do what feels right for you and your characters.